No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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