you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
