YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
