tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize