Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
