a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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