I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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