Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
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This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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