He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
