Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i drank out of a bidet.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
