Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
