You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Are my feet made of real feet?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
