I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Randomize
