You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
