Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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