she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
