I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
