Buhtt sex?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
