Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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