Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
