And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
