He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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