I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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