i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
