can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
