How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
