i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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