what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
