in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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