Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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