just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
