Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hippo gnu deer
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
