If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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