They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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