I can tuck mytits in my pants
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
