worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Drunk walkin through police station. America
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He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I am naked and annoyed.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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