Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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