Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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