I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
