hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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