I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
