Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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