Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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