All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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