So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
