my phone needs a breathalizer
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
