Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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