never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
