Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
