eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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