oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
