I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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