The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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