i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
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Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
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