I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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