dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
