is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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