So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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