Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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