I accidentally burped into my bong.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
