I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I fill condoms, not promises.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
