So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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