So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
