apparently the secret to your success is patron
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
