Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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