Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
