please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
