D3 body, D1 cock
literally had 100 drinks last night.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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