Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
