You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
